Your FACE has nothing to do with studying abroad in France

Many of you (by which I mean the voices in my head who were all "If any ever reads this (which no one will because who would want to listen to you ramble? I know I don't) they're going to think you're crazy and maybe just a little bit stupid if you do that")  have pointed out that my background has absolutely nothing to do with France, traveling, or completely failing at life because despite the fact that you have taken french for the past 6 years it's quite possible that you are completely incapable of forming a coherent sentence in that language.
WOW, aren't you observant? ( "Why, yes. Yes, I am. Unlike you, apparently").
ACTUALLY, I NOTICED THAT. ("There's no need to yell.")
WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS CRITICIZE ME? ("Really, I'm inside your head, I can hear you just-")
-ANYWAY, I never promised that I was capable of stay on topic -- ("and if you had I wouldn't have believed you because I have to LIVE UP HERE!")
IN FACT, I haven't made a single promise, as this is my FIRST post. ("*rolls eyes* whatever, your going to fail anyway, and NOW anyone who reads this is CERTAIN to think you're insane" *exit*).
*weep*